Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Moving On

"Move on, there is more to life".

You must have heard this phrase many times before; you might have said it to your friends or your friends might have said it to you. Either way, moving on from a relationship is not the easiest thing to do. Why is moving on in life so difficult ? Even when people know that there is no other option, why do they refuse to accept the reality and cling on to something in the past ?

One reason why moving on is so difficult is because deep down at some corner of your heart, there is a small voice which keeps uttering the words - "You may still end up together". Though its a very feeble voice, you listen to it, and believe or at least "hope" that you will indeed end up together.Generally "hope" is a good thing. It gives a direction to life and gives us a reason to wake up in the morning. But when you are moving on from a relationship does this very "hope" become your biggest obstacle? Does this "hope" chains you to the past, prevents you from moving forward and cajoles you to wait? And you wait; sometimes even when there is no hope at all.

Though superficially it may seem that the refusal to accept the reality is due to the strong emotional attachment you may have developed for your loved one, is the real reason your ego ? Do you refuse to accept that a person for whom you care so much just doesn't give a damn about you ? A person who has become such an important part of your life doesn't have a place for you in his/her life ?

Another reason which makes people dread moving on is the fear that they will never feel the same way with anyone else compared to how they feel now. The comfort level, the connection, the attraction. What they have now is the best that could happen to them and they will never find anything even close to this in the future.This fear in turn wants them to hold on to what they have and "hope" things miraculously work out.
Why does this happen ? Is there an element of truth in it or is it just that a break up, almost always , diminishes your self confidence and makes you believe that the future cannot be brighter ?

For whatever reason - ego, drop in self confidence or even true love - if an artificial "hope" builds up in you, the best thing is to kill it. Time will eventually do that, but the sooner you realise and kill it yourself, the earlier you will get back on your feet and the more time you will have to enjoy life.

If at all we want to "hope" for something, let it be that the best is yet to come and that we will find something better. I saw the following Facebook post which succinctly tells the message :

Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.

In short, Life is short. Move on.


Sadiya Merchant said...

bla bla. i don buy even an eensy weensy tiny bit of dat!

in my opinion d truth is dey are sentiments n unlike pimpl control ointments dat tk a day, or fairness creams dat tk 5 weeks, a hrtbrk dusn cum wid dat kind of a deadline. wil tk its time n toll n v cant really do anythin abt it. mkin sens of it by sayin oh mayb ego, mayb hope n stuf is jus findin ways to reason dat dont in actual fact exist. v function on diagnosis n cure. dis case, all sed, all done absolutelyyyyy nothin wil wrk.
gues its d divine tellin, v r only human :)

Sadiya Merchant said...

bt hey! u alredy knew dat n im guessin its d last thing u wanted to hear :D

Vikram Pyati said...

Sadiya, what can I say ... Thanks for a very frank feedback :)
Badi mushkil se ek raet ka mahal banaya tha, ek badi lahar aayi aur sab kuch baha kar ley gayi :)

Menachery said...

Well written, but then again .. "hope" isn't it more like "not wanting to step out of your comfort zone", for fear of being hurt again, of being alone etc .. dat makes us want to cling onto a person.. Hope ... why?? cause, you are habituated to that person, and definitely "everyone" dreams about ending up with that "particular person" at one point or the other.. but newys i like the way you have mentioned things, and esp the last sentence, and may i add, isn't that again, telling ourselves "oh we found someone better, wherein our mind has moved on, but our 'hearts' remain still where they were" :P

P:S - good to c u back again :)

Vikram Pyati said...

menachery, Hmm... now that I think, its right. "Hope" , in this case, arises due to a negative mindset. And as you told, it probably is not even "Hope".
I think I have to finally accept what Sadiya wrote in her comment earlier - all sed, all done absolutelyyyyy nothin wil wrk :(