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तेरा इंतज़ार मुझे आज भी है
मगर
अब हसरत यही है
की किसी मोड़ पर हम जब फिर मिलें
तो मैं ऐसे गुजरूँ
जैसे ज़माना मेरी मुट्ठी में है


हाँ , मुझे अब भी तेरा इंतज़ार है  ......

Tumhari yaad....

तुम्हारी याद को तो बस एक बहाना चाहिए

वो याद है तुमको जब coffee शॉप में उस बन्दे को देखा था हमने
तुमने कहा था जाना पहचाना सा है वो, उसे पहले भी कहीं देखा है
अब जब भी उसे देखता हूँ मैं , तो बस तुम याद आती हो......

 वो याद है तुमको जब park में  एक छोटा बच्चा खेल रहा था
तुम कैसे खिलखिलाकर हँस रही थी
अब जब भी किसी बच्चे को खेलते देखता हूँ मैं  , तो बस तुम याद आती हो.....

वो याद है तुमको जब चौराहे की बेंच पे बैठे, हमने चुपचाप  एक दूसरे से बात की थी
रात की ख़ामोशी बस साँसों की आवाज़ के रहम पर थी
अब जब भी साँस लेता हूँ मैं , तो बस तुम याद आती हो ।

तुम्हारी याद को तो बस एक बहाना चाहिए .... 

9.10 ki Train...

मेरे घर के आगे एक ट्रेन का स्टेशन है
मैं हर रोज़ 9.10 की ट्रेन पकड़ता हूँ
आज भी आया स्टेशन में मैं
पर शायद थोडा late हो गया

स्टेशन में रोज़मर्रा के मुसाफिर मुझे आज नहीं दिखे
शायद छुट्टी पर थे
स्टेशन मास्टर कुछ announcement कर रहा था
पर मेरा ध्यान दूर पटरी पे था

रोज़ 9.10 के आस पास स्टेशन में एक औरत कचड़ा साफ़ करने आती है
पर आज कूड़ेदान बिलकुल साफ़ था
शायद आज जल्दी आकर चली गयी 
स्टेशन मास्टर कुछ announcement कर रहा था
पर मेरा ध्यान दूर पटरी पे था

दूर से एक horn जैसी आवाज़ सुनायी दी
चलो ट्रेन आ गयी , मैंने सोचा
अगले पांच मिनट में भी जब ट्रेन न आई तो मैंने आवाज़ फिर से सुनी
एक बच्चा रो रहा था
स्टेशन मास्टर कुछ announcement कर रहा था
पर मेरा ध्यान अब भी पटरी पे था
 
स्टेशन के यात्री एक एक कर bus stand की ओर जाने लगे
हाँ, रास्ता थोडा उबड़-खाबड़  था, पर उसके पार एक बड़ी bus ख़डी थी
थोड़ी देर में पूरा स्टेशन खली हो गया
स्टेशन मास्टर ने फिर से कुछ announcement किया 
 
 स्टेशन अब  पूरा खाली था और speaker की आवाज़ कानो में गूंजने लगी
मैंने कान बंद कर लिए , पर फिर भी, किसी तरह, आवाज़ मेरे कानों के परदे पर जा लगी

वसंत नगर जाने वाली 9.10 की ट्रेन 
प्लात्फोर्म  नंबर 1 से रवाना हो चुकी है

मैंने कान साफ़ किये -  आजकल कभी कभी ठीक से नहीं सुनता,
अजीब सी आवाजें सुनाई देती हैं - 
और फिर से पटरी की तरफ देखने लगा

अब रात हो गयी है, दूर कुछ रोशनी सा नज़र आ रहा है
शायद 9.10 वाली ट्रेन का engine है




 

Life = Differentiation of Y ?

Isn't life same as differentiation ? No, not the  English 'differentiation', the Maths one; of the type dy/dx.

Whatever parameters you use to evaluate your success in life - money, fame or  happiness - if differentiation of these parameters is zero, 'success' is zero as well. That is, if dy is zero, irrespective of the value of y, you are not considered successful.

You might be a millionaire, but if there is no net addition to your worth compared to last year, a lot of people, including you, will consider that as a failure.

You may have everything in life which makes you happy; a wonderful and a loving partner, beautiful kids, great job, great friends. But if the 'happiness index' doesn't increase, you will still feel something is missing.

Take the example of Roger Federer.  The man has 16 Grand Slam titles, and last year he reached the semi-final of 3 of the 4 Grand Slams, though he was not able to win any of them. Even though reaching the Grand Slam semi-final is a big achievement, Federer still would not have been happy. For him, dy is a negative value, as last year was the only year since 2002 when he failed to win a grand slam, which makes last year a failure for him. Imagine, reaching the semi-final of 3 of the 4 grand slams and still considered a failure !!!

So, is the key to success focussing on dy and dx, as opposed to only y, which most of us focus most of the times ?When self-help books and motivation experts ask you to 'live the moment', are they referring to the dx in the above equation ? As dx tends to 0...


However, no one can afford to have a positive value of dy throughout their lifetime. If that is the case y will tend to infinity, which is impossible.

Is that why dy has to be a negative value sometimes?

Take the case of Roger Federer again. If Federer wins a Grand Slam next year, lets assume only one, it will still be a special moment for him and he will be more happy than he has been in a long time, even though he has done this ( winning at least one Grand Slam a year) 8 times before. The reason for his happiness, or success in this case, is a positive dy, even though his y is considerably less than the past values.

So next time you are going through a negative dy, don't be disheartened. Even mathematically its a certainty and no one can avoid it. But on the bright side it also means that you will require less effort than past to achieve the same value of dy/dx :)

The Trench

Her and I - we were walking at the dawn. The sun hadn't come out yet, the fog covered the air and made it difficult to see the road ahead. Even otherwise I am not sure I would have seen the road. I was seeing her.

Slowly, I held her hand. Before I could interlock my fingers with hers, I was jolted. A big trench appeared, apparently out of nowhere, right in front of us. May be the fog blinded me of the trench. May be not. I lost my balance, my hands came off, I fell deep into the trench. I tried to climb up. With great difficulty I reached the other side.

I saw Her, still standing behind the trench.She looked angry. I stretched my hand, asked her to come.
You will not fall, I said, believe me.
She would not budge. Why did you leave my hand? Why did you go alone? She asked.
The fog blinded me, I couldn't see the trench, the shock made me take my hand off. Also, I hadn't interlocked my fingers with you, may be then my hands wouldn't have come off and I would have taken you along into the trench.

No, you ditched me.  She walked off with him and they crossed another trench together. No, it was not a trench. It was just a small depression.

I shouted to her.
But for the fog, I would have seen the trench, I would not have been jolted, my hands wouldn't have come off.
This is the biggest trench as far as I could see, if we cross this, we can cross any other.
How do you know he would not be as jolted as me if he encounters a trench as big as I encountered.

She did not turn.
Perhaps the wind carried away my words in the opposite direction. 
Perhaps she was relieved I fell in the trench.
Perhaps she had fallen in the trench earlier and the trench scared her.
Perhaps I took a lot of time climbing up the trench.
Perhaps it was always meant to be like this. She was an angel who wanted to alert me of the trenches. Show me the path.
Perhaps she is smiling now, realising her mission is accomplished.