Happiness, US, et al

When you are living in the US a common topic, especially among the Indian community, is the elusive Green Card!
"Have you applied for the green card"?
"When did you apply ? I just got mine" ( followed by a 100 watt smile )
"You better apply for one as soon as you can. Anyway, even if you get your green card you can still go back to India" ( hahaha ......)

The other day I read an interesting article about immigrants going back to India , which got me thinking about the reasons why people like to stay back in US. Are there any valid reasons? Does settling in US enable a person to be more happy in the long run, or even in the short run for that matter ?  Why do people think that living in US will make them more happy? Is there any truth in that?  And, at a broader level, what are the things that really make us happy ?

Coming to the first question; why does a person want to settle down in US? A major reason is the high standard of living the country offers. You can own a car and a house in no time. The infrastructure is excellent. You can travel 30-40 Km in less than half an hour without any hassle, which may take hours in a city like Bangalore. The luxuries that the country offers is definitely much better than what it is back in India and is a major incentive for people to stay back.

The second reason is the quality of work and the career opportunities the country provides, at least in the context of the IT industry. You have a lot of opportunities to grow in your career and also choose the fields you would like to pursue. Though some amount of workplace politics is inevitable, meritocracy is still the king. If you are good, nothing can stop you from climbing up the ladder.
 
The third reason why people want to settle down in US is somewhat surprising - independence. Independence may mean different things to different people. One of my married friends who came to US about a year back was relieved to be here because in India most of his weekends and free time was spent on attending various functions organized by his relatives!  For unmarried guys independence might mean something different.

There might be many more reasons, but off the top of my head I could think of the above points.

Now, coming to the second and probably the more important question. Does settling in US enable a person to be more happy in the longer run, or even in short term ? A simple way of answering this question will be to compare if US citizens are happier than others. Though there are no credible instruments to measure happiness index of a country , there have not been any studies/surveys that I am aware of which says that US citizens are happier than others. In fact on the contrary, the Gross National Happiness index says that people in Bhutan are the happiest !

In my opinion, whether we stay in US, India or Bangladesh, it doesn't matter. The mere act of living in a specific country will not determine whether you are happy or unhappy. Happiness, for me , is determined by dynamic things, and not by static things.
By static I mean things that don't change a lot over the course of time, like a big house, an expensive car or good infrastructure. If you live in a big bungalow you might be happy for the first 10-15 days or so, but once that 'honeymoon period' is over your daily happiness is independent of the bungalow. The bungalow has absolutely no role to play in determining if on a given day you are happy or sad. The same applies for a car.
Static elements will give you happiness for a moment or two and then disappear. The happiness derived from them cannot be sustained, they wither away. 


Dynamic things, on the other hand, are those that are unpredictable. They constantly change and in my opinion happiness can be derived only from them. One example of a dynamic thing is the work we do for a living. If the work is interesting and constantly throws up challenges, then nothing can be a better source of happiness.
Similarly, personal relationships - like the relationship with your spouse, friends, children or parents - are also dynamic and are a great source of happiness.
The dynamic nature of work and relationships allow us to derive happiness from them.Probably that is the reason why we enjoy sports so much, as sports is an unscripted drama and is the epitome of unpredictability.

Coming back to the reasons why people like to settle down in US, I think most of the reasons are static in nature, be it the standard of living or the feeling of independence. We might feel happy initially, but the happiness is not sustainable and we eventually come back to a steady state.They are like spikes in a graph where the value is momentarily very high and comes back to a normal value the very next instant.

I am not saying that settling in US is not a good idea or that you are better off staying in India, but just that it ultimately doesn't matter where you live. Whether you are in US or in India, your happiness is determined by the little things you do on a daily basis, how you respond to challenges you face everyday, rather than the Ferrari parked in your garage.  A Green card or a US citizenship is not the panacea for all the ills afflicting you. In fact, I would compare getting a Green card with India winning the cricket world cup. You rejoice for a day or two and from the third day normalcy is restored !

To be really happy we have to go after the dynamic things . Their dynamic nature will ensure that periodically we will experience bouts of unhappiness, sadness and frustration, which is precisely the reason why we experience happiness when things go right.
Unlike the big bungalow, which never shrinks, never expands, keeps staring at you the same way day after day, as if it doesn't even exist.

April Haiku Heights

This post is an entry in Haiku Challenge for April 2012 at Haiku Heights.

April 19 Prompt - HoneyBees

It stings,it dies
Sweet and Selfless
Wish I was a Honeybee

The above Haiku is based on the fact
that even though the honeybee knows it will
die after it stings, it still stings. 

 

April 18 Prompt - White

How bland
If life was pure white
Colors add spice

 

 

April 17 Prompt - Wonder

I sometimes wonder
How the hell I wonder
Isn't that wonderful

 

 

April 16 Prompt - Being

Its toughest
To remove the facade
Be yourself

 

 

April 14 Prompt - Aura

Walk in a way
That the Aura screams
Welcome the KING!!!

 

 

April 13 Prompt - Warmth

In the cold dark nights
The warmth of your touch
Ignites me

 

 

April 12 Prompt - Coherent

Coherence of lake
Incoherence of hurricane
Stems from water

 

 

April 11 Prompt - Possible

Is it even possible
To laugh your heart out
Without tears ?

 

 

April 10 Prompt - Summer

Boon for a few
Summer is bane for a few
Its the place that matters

April 9 Prompt - Seashore

Facing scary seas
Pushing back every single time
The shore stands tall

 

 

April 8 Prompt - Play

As kid I played
I still play now, but
the toys have changed

 

 

April 7 Prompt - Forgive

I forgive myself
For its the only way
to breathe again

That Last Night

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 26; the 26th Edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The topic for this month is 'That Last Night'.

The last night was long, very very long.
As the night began, the moonlight guided me, showing the path ahead. But soon the clouds covered the moon and there was complete darkness all around. Not a soul was visible. I was in the middle of the forest, completely lost. Where to go? Which direction ? I was not able to decide. I gave up and sat down.

Then, I heard something - the sound of the river. I was hearing the sound for the first time. In fact, it was the first time I had ever heard anything. Earlier, I did not need to. During the light of the day my eyes were enough to guide me. But the night made me discover my hearing senses.

Now, even in the light of the day I hear, I hear the sweet songs of the birds, I hear the flow of water, I hear the wind blow.

I moved towards the river by following the sound, hoping it will take me out of the forest. But all of a sudden my head banged against a tree and I fell down on the impact. Blood started oozing out of my forehead. But staying down was not an option. I tried to get up and in the process my hands touched the tree, and I, felt the tree. That was the first time I had felt anything, ever. Earlier, I did not need to. During the light of the day my eyes were enough to guide me. But the night made me discover my sensation of touch.
Now, even in the light of the day I feel, I feel the wet grass, I feel a bunny's soft skin, I feel a stream of water brushing against my hands and trying to escape between the fingers.

I moved towards the river, but this time stretching out my hand and feeling any obstacle to prevent my head banging against it. I could hear the river louder and clearer as I went ahead. But suddenly my legs got stuck. I was unable to move. I had stepped into a morass and I realised, to my horror, that I was sinking. I got hold of the trunk of a nearby tree and tried to move out of the morass. After an epic struggle I finally came out. While I was still catching my breath, I realised something was different. Something which was not present earlier was present now.  Yes, it was the pungent smell of the morass. It was the first time I had smelled anything. Earlier, I did not need to.During the light of the day my eyes were enough to guide me. But the night made me discover my sense of smell.

Now, even in the light of the day I smell, I smell the rose, I smell the soil after the first drops of rain, I smell the morning dew.

I continued moving towards the river; hearing, feeling and smelling along the way to make sure I was on the right path. Right at the stroke of dawn I reached the river. Finally, I had come out of the forest !

I will always be grateful for the last night, even though it was long. But for the night, I would have never heard the song of a bird, felt the wet grass or smelled a rose.
What a boring life that would have been !

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Intezaar

तेरा इंतज़ार मुझे आज भी है
मगर
अब हसरत यही है
की किसी मोड़ पर हम जब फिर मिलें
तो मैं ऐसे गुजरूँ
जैसे ज़माना मेरी मुट्ठी में है


हाँ , मुझे अब भी तेरा इंतज़ार है  ......

Tumhari yaad....

तुम्हारी याद को तो बस एक बहाना चाहिए

वो याद है तुमको जब coffee शॉप में उस बन्दे को देखा था हमने
तुमने कहा था जाना पहचाना सा है वो, उसे पहले भी कहीं देखा है
अब जब भी उसे देखता हूँ मैं , तो बस तुम याद आती हो......

 वो याद है तुमको जब park में  एक छोटा बच्चा खेल रहा था
तुम कैसे खिलखिलाकर हँस रही थी
अब जब भी किसी बच्चे को खेलते देखता हूँ मैं  , तो बस तुम याद आती हो.....

वो याद है तुमको जब चौराहे की बेंच पे बैठे, हमने चुपचाप  एक दूसरे से बात की थी
रात की ख़ामोशी बस साँसों की आवाज़ के रहम पर थी
अब जब भी साँस लेता हूँ मैं , तो बस तुम याद आती हो ।

तुम्हारी याद को तो बस एक बहाना चाहिए ....